Writing

Blog

Psychology, culture, and what's actually going on underneath.

15/01/2026•Defences & Patterns

Why Do I Push People Away?

You want connection more than almost anything. And every time you get close to having it, you find a way to destroy it.

01/11/2025•Defences & Patterns

I Don't Know What I Feel

Someone asks how you feel about something that just happened - a breakup, a job loss, your father's cancer diagnosis - and you go blank.

29/10/2025•Defences & Patterns

Therapy Speak Is Ruining Your Relationships

You know all the words now. Gaslighting. Narcissist. Triggered. Boundaries. And somehow your relationships still aren't working.

29/08/2025•Defences & Patterns

The Performance Trap

The exhausting performance of being 'easy to talk to' and how it cuts us off from the very connection we're desperate for.

28/11/2024•Defences & Patterns

You Don't Need Better Mental Health

Mental health has become another performance to optimise and track. What you actually need is the capacity to stop coping so hard.

07/03/2022•Defences & Patterns

You're Not Lazy, You Might Be Ashamed

You've tried every productivity system going. Notion boards, Pomodoro timers, habit trackers, accountability partners. None of them lasted more than a fortnight.

12/10/2021•Defences & Patterns

The Ritual Isn't the Problem

You check the door three times before you can leave the house. Or you don't - your version is quieter than that, and harder to explain.

09/05/2020•Defences & Patterns

The Fortress You Built to Protect Yourself is Your Prison

We don't build walls to keep people out. We build them to keep ourselves in. That's the truth about emotional protection.

18/05/2018•Defences & Patterns

The Voice That Isn't Yours

You know the one. The voice that says you're not good enough, not smart enough, not trying hard enough. The one that arrives before you've even finished the thought.