https://www.talktoluke.com/blog Psychology, culture, and what's actually going on underneath. Psychodynamic therapy insights from Luke Row, BACP-registered therapist in Croydon. en-gb Mon, 05 Oct 2026 12:36:42 GMT https://www.talktoluke.com/images/logo-square.webp https://www.talktoluke.com https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/how-to-prompt-a-human https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/how-to-prompt-a-human Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT With ChatGPT we check the prompt before blaming the machine. With people, we rarely do. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/tip-toe-ending-explained https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/tip-toe-ending-explained Mon, 08 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMT Russell T Davies' Tip Toe ends in a killing everyone saw coming. The harder thing is how an ordinary neighbour became a monster in another man's mind. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/half-man-painter-rolling-hills https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/half-man-painter-rolling-hills Fri, 29 May 2026 00:00:00 GMT Half Man's 'painter and rolling hills' line is the key to the whole series. A psychodynamic reading of Ruben, Niall and what the ending really means. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/clavicular-overdose https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/clavicular-overdose Thu, 16 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMT Braden Peters collapsed on livestream and the internet turned him into a symbol. What gets missed is the person, and the shame underneath looksmaxxing. Culture & Technology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/louis-theroux-manosphere-documentary-psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/louis-theroux-manosphere-documentary-psychology Fri, 13 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT Louis Theroux's Inside the Manosphere reveals something the reviews missed. A psychodynamic analysis of what happens when these men can't let women speak. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-i-became-a-male-therapist https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-i-became-a-male-therapist Fri, 20 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT The therapy profession is roughly 80% female. So what does it mean that a man chose this work? More than you might think. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-you-cant-stop-watching-married-at-first-sight-australia https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-you-cant-stop-watching-married-at-first-sight-australia Thu, 19 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT The obsession with MAFS Australia isn't embarrassing. It's pointing at something real about intimacy, attachment, and what we're all quietly hoping for from relationships. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/is-couples-therapy-worth-it https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/is-couples-therapy-worth-it Tue, 03 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT Nobody googles this casually. You're asking because something between you has broken and you need to know if it can be fixed. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-do-i-push-people-away https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-do-i-push-people-away Thu, 15 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMT You want connection more than almost anything. And every time you get close to having it, you find a way to destroy it. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/talking-to-ai-vs-therapist https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/talking-to-ai-vs-therapist Sat, 10 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMT If you prefer talking to a chatbot, you aren't broken. The machine is there at 3am, and it never makes you feel like you're too much. Culture & Technology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-your-new-years-resolutions-keep-failing https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-your-new-years-resolutions-keep-failing Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMT It's January. You've made the list. By February, you'll have quietly abandoned most of it. This isn't a failure of willpower. It's something else entirely. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/heated-rivalry-ending-explained-analysis https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/heated-rivalry-ending-explained-analysis Fri, 26 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMT A therapist's analysis of 'The Cottage', the Heated Rivalry finale. Why Shane and Ilya's rivalry is a psychological defence and what it means for Season 2. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/stranger-things-sorcerer-will-byers-wounded-healer https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/stranger-things-sorcerer-will-byers-wounded-healer Fri, 28 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMT The sensitive kid never gets to be the hero. They feel too much, and they carry everyone else's anxiety. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/pluribus-review-emotional-avoidance https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/pluribus-review-emotional-avoidance Fri, 07 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMT A new Apple TV show accidentally nails what therapy rarely addresses: when happiness stops being a feeling and becomes a defence. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/i-dont-know-what-i-feel https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/i-dont-know-what-i-feel Sat, 01 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMT Someone asks how you feel about something that just happened - a breakup, a job loss, your father's cancer diagnosis - and you go blank. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-the-roses-gets-wrong-about-couples-therapy https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-the-roses-gets-wrong-about-couples-therapy Thu, 30 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMT The Roses opens in couples therapy. They're asked to name ten things they love about each other. What the film gets wrong is the response. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/therapy-speak-is-ruining-your-relationships https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/therapy-speak-is-ruining-your-relationships Wed, 29 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMT You know all the words now. Gaslighting. Narcissist. Triggered. Boundaries. And somehow your relationships still aren't working. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-performance-trap https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-performance-trap Fri, 29 Aug 2025 00:00:00 GMT The exhausting performance of being 'easy to talk to' and how it cuts us off from the very connection we're desperate for. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-machines-arent-coming-for-us https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-machines-arent-coming-for-us Sat, 02 Aug 2025 00:00:00 GMT The real AI takeover won't need robot armies. We're volunteering. Culture & Technology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-a-square-meaning-behind-the-logo https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-a-square-meaning-behind-the-logo Mon, 14 Apr 2025 00:00:00 GMT The new logo is Talk to Luke and a square. The square is the frame. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/severance-therapy-transference https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/severance-therapy-transference Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMT Severance's split between 'innie' and 'outtie' mirrors the therapeutic relationship, transference, and what it means to be a tech worker. TV & Film Psychology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-borderline-personality-disorder-feels-like https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-borderline-personality-disorder-feels-like Fri, 13 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT Someone you've been dating for three weeks doesn't text back for two hours and your brain goes: 'They hate me. I'll die alone.' That's BPD. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/you-dont-need-better-mental-health https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/you-dont-need-better-mental-health Thu, 28 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMT Mental health has become another performance to optimise and track. What you actually need is the capacity to stop coping so hard. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/croydon-talking-therapies https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/croydon-talking-therapies Wed, 21 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMT Your GP mentioned talking therapies and handed you a leaflet. What that usually means is CBT in various doses. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-exhaustion-of-passing https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-exhaustion-of-passing Mon, 15 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMT You've become so good at reading the room that you forgot you were doing it. The scanning, the adjusting, the constant translation - it feels like breathing now. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/leadership-and-mental-health https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/leadership-and-mental-health Tue, 24 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMT You're the one everyone comes to when things go wrong, and you have nowhere to go when you're the thing that's going wrong. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-lgbtq-affirming-therapy-actually-means https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/what-lgbtq-affirming-therapy-actually-means Tue, 26 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMT You've been in a session for ten minutes and you're already explaining yourself. Not the thing you came to talk about. Yourself. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/rewriting-the-code https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/rewriting-the-code Sun, 09 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMT You've been living someone else's script and calling it your personality. These aren't traits - they're survival strategies from before you could speak. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/limits-of-short-term-therapy https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/limits-of-short-term-therapy Tue, 10 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMT Six sessions in, just starting to trust, and they're already talking about endings. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/christmas-isnt-a-great-time-of-year-for-everyone https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/christmas-isnt-a-great-time-of-year-for-everyone Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:00:00 GMT Christmas is hard because other people need you to be happy about it. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/weve-turned-discomfort-into-a-design-problem https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/weve-turned-discomfort-into-a-design-problem Tue, 09 Aug 2022 00:00:00 GMT Most of our 'dopamine problems' aren't neurological. They're what happens when we've engineered every moment of potential discomfort out of existence. Culture & Technology https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/youre-not-lazy-youre-ashamed https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/youre-not-lazy-youre-ashamed Mon, 07 Mar 2022 00:00:00 GMT You've tried every productivity system going. Notion boards, Pomodoro timers, habit trackers, accountability partners. None of them lasted more than a fortnight. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-ritual-isnt-the-problem https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-ritual-isnt-the-problem Tue, 12 Oct 2021 00:00:00 GMT You check the door three times before you can leave the house. Or you don't - your version is quieter than that, and harder to explain. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-isnt-therapy-working-for-me https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/why-isnt-therapy-working-for-me Fri, 03 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT You're doing everything right and still getting nowhere. Not necessarily because therapy doesn't work, but because you may be having it about your life, not in it. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/when-too-much-was-always-about-them https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/when-too-much-was-always-about-them Sat, 09 Jan 2021 00:00:00 GMT You've been told you're too much your entire life. Too sensitive, too intense, too loud, too quiet, too literal, too emotional, too rigid. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-fortress-you-built-to-protect-yourself-is-your-prison https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-fortress-you-built-to-protect-yourself-is-your-prison Sat, 09 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT We don't build walls to keep people out. We build them to keep ourselves in. That's the truth about emotional protection. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/when-grief-gets-stuck https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/when-grief-gets-stuck Tue, 21 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT It's been two years. Or five. Or twelve. And something about this loss still hasn't settled. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/psychodynamic-counselling-deep-work https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/psychodynamic-counselling-deep-work Thu, 23 Jan 2020 00:00:00 GMT You've done CBT three times. Got a drawer full of anxiety worksheets. Still stuck in the same patterns. The problem isn't only your thoughts. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/your-panic-attacks-arent-random https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/your-panic-attacks-arent-random Mon, 04 Nov 2019 00:00:00 GMT The first one came out of nowhere. At least that's what you told yourself, and A&E, and your GP. Human Experience https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/cbt-mental-health-production-line https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/cbt-mental-health-production-line Thu, 15 Aug 2019 00:00:00 GMT The NHS called IAPT a world-beating standard. Recorded common mental health disorders still rose. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-voice-that-isnt-yours https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/the-voice-that-isnt-yours Fri, 18 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT You know the one. The voice that says you're not good enough, not smart enough, not trying hard enough. The one that arrives before you've even finished the thought. Defences & Patterns https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/therapy-isnt-about-fixing-you https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/therapy-isnt-about-fixing-you Sat, 31 Mar 2018 00:00:00 GMT You've been trying to fix yourself for years. Maybe decades. You've read the books, tried the apps, implemented the morning routines. And you're exhausted. Therapeutic Process https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/i-need-counselling-should-i-go-private https://www.talktoluke.com/blog/i-need-counselling-should-i-go-private Fri, 08 Sep 2017 00:00:00 GMT You're asking the wrong question. The question isn't only whether you should go private. Therapeutic Process