About

Luke Row

Psychodynamic therapist in Croydon

The collapse that qualified me

I became a therapist the way some people do - by falling apart so completely that rebuilding required learning what I'd been avoiding my entire life.

I spent my younger years living what Winnicott would call a 'false self' - performing a version of myself that felt safe but hollow. I was good at it too. Good at being what people expected, good at managing everyone else's comfort, good at keeping my true self hidden underneath.

Until I couldn't anymore.

What followed was a proper collapse. The kind where your parents have to come and collect you from another country because you've lost the plot entirely. The kind where everything you thought you knew about yourself gets stripped away and you're left with nothing but the truth you've been avoiding.

I'd built my identity on being capable, stable, the one who had it together. Turns out that was just sophisticated hiding. When it collapsed, I discovered I had no idea who I actually was underneath.

Coming back from that - finding my way through the wreckage of who I thought I was supposed to be - taught me more about the human condition than any textbook ever could. It showed me what it really means to rebuild yourself from scratch, to learn the difference between surviving and living, to understand that sometimes you have to fall apart completely before you can become who you actually are.

That's what brought me to this work - first as a client who desperately needed it, then as a therapist who understood what it means to be properly stuck.

Why psychodynamic therapy

I chose this approach because it's the only one that made sense of my own mess. CBT would have taught me better coping strategies. Counselling would have helped me feel supported. Neither would have touched why I kept building the same prison and calling it safety.

Psychodynamic therapy asks the question that matters: Why do you keep doing the same things even when they're not working? It looks at the patterns underneath - the ones formed early, the defences that saved you once but trap you now, the parts you've exiled to stay acceptable.

I understand the particular exhaustion of performing connection whilst starving for it. I know what it's like to be praised for qualities that aren't even real - for being "so understanding" when you're actually terrified of conflict, "so selfless" when you're really just scared of being seen as needy. That understanding comes from lived experience, not just clinical training.

Training and experience

I've been practising as a psychodynamic therapist for over a decade, training at University of Greenwich on a BACP-accredited programme. I'm registered with BACP and maintain ongoing clinical supervision.

I trained in classical psychodynamic theory, but I'm not interested in dusty consulting rooms or jargon that excludes people. This is depth psychology for people who grew up with Netflix, serious work that doesn't require you to pretend you're in 1950s Vienna.

I've worked from my practice in Croydon since 2021, after years in Central London. The practice is near East Croydon station, accessible from across South London, Bromley, and Sutton.

I'm in my own psychoanalytic therapy three times a week. Not because I have to be, but because I can't ask someone to do work I'm not willing to do myself.

Advanced couples psychotherapy training

I'm currently undertaking advanced couples psychotherapy training at Tavistock Relationships. This isn't just about learning techniques - it's about understanding how two people's unconscious patterns collide, how defences interact, how what happens between people often reveals more than what happens within them. This training deepens how I work with individuals too, because your relationship patterns don't only show up in romantic partnerships.

How I work

We meet weekly for 50 minutes, same time each week. This consistency isn't bureaucracy - it's what makes the space safe enough to bring what you haven't said out loud.

I won't give you worksheets or breathing techniques. We talk about what's actually happening - in your life, your relationships, and between us in the room. The patterns that trip you up elsewhere will show up here too. That's not a problem, it's the work.

I keep my caseload small enough to give each person and each couple the attention this work deserves. I maintain clear boundaries because therapy needs them. I have supervision because this work is too important to do alone.