For when everything feels like effort
Key facts
You're not sad, exactly. It's more like the volume's been turned down on everything. Food doesn't taste like much. Things you used to enjoy feel like obligations. Getting through the day takes everything you've got, and nobody sees how hard you're working just to function.
People tell you to exercise, get outside, think positive. As if you hadn't thought of that. As if wanting to feel better was the problem.
Most approaches to depression focus on activation. Do more things. Challenge negative thoughts. Build routines.
But depression isn't always about doing too little. Sometimes it can feel like the result of feeling too much, for too long, with nowhere for it to go. The shutdown isn't weakness. It may be what happens when the system gets overwhelmed.
Psychodynamic therapy is interested in what may have been switched off and why. Sometimes there's griefunderneath: for losses you weren't allowed to mourn, for versions of yourself that never got to exist, for needs that were never met. Depression can sometimes look like mourning that has gone still.
We meet weekly or twice-weekly and sit with what's actually there, even when what's there feels like nothing.
Sometimes we'll talk about your history. Not because the past is more important than the present, but because your early experiences may have shaped what you learned to do with difficult feelings. If sadness wasn't allowed, if need was met with rejection, if anger meant abandonment, shutting down may once have been the safest option available.
The work is slow. It has to be. You can't force thawing.