Therapy for low self-esteem in Croydon
When you're your own worst critic
Key facts
- BACP registered #197852
- Croydon practice
- Individual therapy £70
- Couples therapy £100
- 50-minute weekly sessions
- Couples therapy in person only
Other people see you as capable, together, successful. But inside there's a voice that never shuts up. The one that spots every flaw, dismisses every achievement, reminds you that you're somehow fooling everyone and it's only a matter of time before they notice.
You've tried positive affirmations. You've made lists of your accomplishments. You know, intellectually, that you're not worthless. But knowing doesn't touch the feeling. The voice is still there.
The voice isn't yours
That critical voice, the one that tells you you're not good enough, not smart enough, not enough full stop, may not have started with you. You may have learned it from a parent who was never satisfied, a teacher who made you feel small, a culture that taught you love was conditional.
Low self-esteem isn't just a personality trait. It can be an internalised relationship. You may be treating yourself the way someone once treated you, and calling it truth. The self-criticism often fuels anxiety, which in turn deepens the conviction that you're not enough.
Psychodynamic therapy doesn't try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It asks where the voice may have come from and why you still believe it. If you can begin to hear it as something you absorbed rather than something true about you, the grip may start to loosen.
What we'll do
We meet weekly or twice-weekly and pay attention to how you talk about yourself. Not to correct it, but to understand where it comes from.
You'll notice the voice showing up in the room. The apologising when you haven't done anything wrong. The dismissing of your own experience. The waiting for me to judge you. These aren't bad habits - they're clues. Sometimes what looks like low self-esteem also carries depression — a shutting down that happens when the internal criticism becomes overwhelming.
Over time, you might start catching the voice when it speaks. Not to argue with it, but to recognise it as something separate from you. Something you inherited, not something you are.
Common questions
- Why don't positive affirmations work for low self-esteem?
- For many people, telling yourself you are worthy when you deeply believe you are not creates cognitive dissonance rather than relief. Beliefs about yourself often form in relationships: in how you were treated, in what was reflected back to you. They often need relational work, not just willpower.
- Is low self-esteem the same as depression?
- They often overlap but aren't the same. You can have low self-esteem without depression - achieving, functioning, but never feeling good enough. Depression usually involves more pervasive symptoms: low mood, low energy, loss of interest. Low self-esteem can contribute to depression, especially when you constantly attack yourself.
- How does psychodynamic therapy help with self-esteem?
- It may help by tracing the critical voice back toward its source. That voice often belongs, at least partly, to an internalised critic: someone whose judgements you absorbed early on. Once you can hear it as something you learned rather than truth itself, its authority may begin to weaken.
- Can therapy really change how I feel about myself?
- It can, though gradually. The therapeutic relationship itself can become part of the work: experiencing someone who does not confirm your worst beliefs about yourself, and who reflects back a fuller version of you. Over time, that alternative view may become more available.