Understanding the Approach
A form of depth therapy that goes beyond symptoms to understand why you're stuck
Psychodynamic therapy is a form of depth therapy that explores how unconscious patterns from your past shape your present relationships, emotions, and behaviour.
Rather than teaching coping strategies or challenging negative thoughts, it seeks to understand why you're stuck. It examines the childhood experiences, family dynamics, and defensive strategies that continue to influence your life without your awareness.
The premise is simple: most of what drives your behaviour happens outside conscious awareness. The patterns that keep you stuck aren't thinking errors to be corrected - they're survival strategies that made sense once but may not serve you now.
Understanding where they came from is how you get choice about whether to keep running them.
It's not lying on a couch talking about your mother while someone silently takes notes. That's the cartoon version.
It's not blaming your parents for everything. Understanding where patterns came from isn't about finding someone to hold responsible - it's about making sense of how you became who you are.
It's not endlessly circling the past without change. The past matters because it's still operating in the present. We go there to understand what's happening now, not to wallow.
It's not vague, unstructured chat. There's rigour here - we're tracking patterns, noticing defences, paying attention to what's happening between us. The apparent freedom of the space is carefully held.
And it's not just for people with serious problems. Some of the most valuable work happens with people who function perfectly well but sense something's missing - who succeed at everything except feeling satisfied.
You talk. I listen - properly, not the polite nodding kind. I'll notice patterns in what you're saying, ask questions that might make you uncomfortable, point out what you seem to be avoiding.
We pay attention to what happens between us. If you're always apologising to me, you're probably apologising to everyone. If you can't disagree with me, you probably can't disagree with anyone. The relationship becomes a laboratory for understanding how you relate.
Over time, connections emerge. The anxiety that seems random starts to make sense when you understand what you learned about being seen. The pattern of choosing unavailable people connects to how love was offered in your family. The compulsive achieving links to what you had to do to feel acceptable.
Everything makes sense in context. Once you understand the context, you can choose differently.
This isn't insight for its own sake. Understanding changes things. Not immediately, not dramatically - but gradually, the patterns lose their grip. You start catching yourself mid-reaction. Old triggers lose their charge. You respond to what's actually happening instead of what happened twenty years ago.
People who are tired of managing symptoms without understanding causes.
People who've tried other approaches - CBT, coaching, self-help - and found they helped for a while but the same patterns keep recurring.
People dealing with depression that doesn't lift, anxiety that won't settle, relationships that keep going wrong in familiar ways.
People who function well on the outside but feel hollow, disconnected, or stuck. Who've achieved things but can't enjoy them. Who help everyone except themselves.
People who want to understand themselves, not just cope better.
It's not for everyone. If you want quick fixes or someone to tell you what to do, this isn't it. If you need practical strategies for a specific crisis, CBT or coaching might serve you better.
But if you're ready to look honestly at yourself - at the parts you've been avoiding, the patterns you can't seem to break, the questions you've been scared to ask - this is work that can change things at the root.
Psychodynamic therapy isn't just talking about relationships - it uses the therapeutic relationship itself.
How you relate to your therapist reveals how you relate to everyone. The defences you use, the roles you fall into, the expectations you bring - they all show up in the room. And here, unlike in your other relationships, they can be examined.
If you're always trying to please me, we can explore that. If you hold back important things, we can understand why. If you expect criticism or rejection, we can look at where that expectation comes from and whether it matches reality.
This is where the real work happens. Not in talking about your patterns but in experiencing them, in real time, with someone who can help you see what you're doing.
It requires a therapist you can trust - not because they're perfect, but because they won't flinch when you bring the difficult stuff. Someone who can tolerate your anger, your despair, your need, without needing to fix it immediately or make you feel better.
How psychodynamic therapy compares to other approaches, and what to expect.
More questionsI'm a psychodynamic therapist practising in Croydon, South London. I work with individuals and couples, in person and online.
If you're curious whether this approach might help, you can read more about how I work with individuals or who I am. The FAQ covers practical questions about sessions, fees, and what to expect.
Or you can just get in touch.