Abandonment Therapy
Therapy for Abandonment Issues in Croydon
For when you can't trust that people will stay
You know the pattern. Someone gets close and you either grip too tight or find a reason to leave before they do. You scan for signs they're losing interest. You test them without meaning to. You're exhausted by your own need.
People have told you you're "too much" or "too intense." You've learned to hide how much you care because caring that much scares people off. But underneath the performance, there's a terror that never quite goes away: the certainty that everyone leaves eventually.
This isn't a personality flaw
Fear of abandonment usually starts before you had words for it. Maybe a parent was physically present but emotionally gone. Maybe someone left, through death, divorce, illness, or just checked-out parenting. Maybe you learned that love was conditional, that you had to earn proximity, that being yourself wasn't enough to make people stay.
Your nervous system learned that attachment is dangerous. The hypervigilance, the jealousy, the push-pull: these aren't character defects. They're survival strategies that made sense once.
What we'll do
We meet weekly or twice-weekly, same time, same place. This consistency matters. Part of the work is discovering that someone can show up reliably, that ruptures can be repaired, that you don't have to be perfect to be kept.
We'll pay attention to what happens between us. The moments you expect me to disappear, the urge to test whether I'll stay, the discomfort when things feel too close or too distant. These patterns in the room mirror the patterns in your life.
The goal isn't to stop needing people. It's to need them without the terror.
The practical bits
- Cost: £70 per 50-minute session
- Location: In person in Croydon (5 mins from East Croydon station) or online
- Frequency: Weekly or twice-weekly, same time each week
- Duration: Open-ended. This work takes time, often a year or more.