Online Therapy: What You're Really Signing Up For

online therapy

1 May

You're considering online therapy. Maybe because you have to, maybe because you want to. Either way, let's be honest about what you're actually getting into.

When Life Forces Your Hand

Some people end up online because geography doesn't care about your preferences. The therapist you actually want to see is three hundred miles away. Or you live somewhere that thinks mental health is what happens to other people. Maybe you can't leave the house - whether that's because you've got a toddler who treats separation like a personal betrayal, or because stepping outside feels like volunteering for an anxiety attack.

These aren't lifestyle choices. This is making the best of what you've got.

When You Choose the Distance

Others pick online therapy because they want something traditional therapy can't offer. Like not having to sit in a waiting room, pretending to read last year's magazines while wondering if that's your neighbour's car in the car park.

Or because vulnerability feels more manageable when there's a screen between you and the person witnessing your breakdown. Some people need that escape route - the knowledge they can slam the laptop shut if things get too real.

There's no shame in either. We all have our ways of making the unbearable bearable.

Does It Actually Work?

Yes, but not in the way you might expect.

Online therapy doesn't just move the conversation to a different room - it changes the conversation entirely. Your carefully curated therapy persona crashes headfirst into your actual life. Hard to maintain the "I've got my shit together" narrative when your partner's having a row with the plumber in the next room.

That collision between performed wellness and messy reality? That's often where the real work happens.

When Online Therapy Will Disappoint You

Don't bother if you're hoping technology will make vulnerability easier. It won't. Different, maybe. Easier, no.

If your house is chaos and your internet thinks buffering is a lifestyle choice, you'll spend more time managing logistics than feelings. And if you're sharing space with people who think your closed door is a suggestion rather than a boundary, you'll be editing yourself before you even start.

What Actually Helps

Skip the technical obsessing. Use headphones because intimacy requires being able to hear each other properly. Sit far enough back that your whole body is visible - so much of what you're not saying shows up in how you hold yourself.

But mostly, accept that your real life will interrupt your therapy hour. Your kid will burst in asking for snacks during your session. Your delivery driver will choose your breakthrough moment to require a signature.

That's not therapy failing. That's therapy happening in the mess of your actual existence, which is rather the point.